I’m grateful that I found a program in a 12 step recovery fellowship that shows me how to stay clean and sober. I’m grateful that my program has shown me the way to faith in a Higher Power, because the renewing of that faith has changed my way of life. And I’ve found happiness and contentment that I had never known even existed, by simply believing in God and trying to live the kind of a life that I know He wants me to live.  As long as I stay grateful, I’ll stay sober.

How do I try to live as my higher power would want me to live?  What is His will for me?  How do I tell his will verses mine?  These are questions I had to ask because I had no idea what His will was, what He wanted from me or how to discern what my will was and what was my higher powers will.  I wanted to stay clean and sober and was told to practice “thy will not mine” but was clueless which was which.  I wanted to understand it but tend, like most addicts do, to complicate everything so I went into a tail spin trying to “figure it out”.  I can’t say enough how vital a sponsor is in getting AND remaining clean.  My sponsor said my first problem was that I was … thinking !!!  She reminded me that my disease centers in my mind and to stop trying to figure it out and over complicate it.

So get ready here’s the secret to the question of if it’s His will or my will …. Drum roll please …

She gave me 4 questions to put up against any situation I run across before I act:

1. Is it kind?

2. Is it necessary?

3. Is it loving?

4. Is it true?

If it’s not kind, then don’t do it.  If it is not necessary that maybe it isn’t intended to be done or said.  If it is not loving than surly my higher powers will isn’t in it, He is all loving.  If it is not true than don’t say it.  How simple is that?  I was amazed that these 4 very simple short questions could clear up all the gibberish going on in my head about His will or mine.  Now a days I just ask one very important question, Is it loving?  If it’s not than I’m pretty sure it’s all my will, my ego and or my pride.  God doesn’t make hard terms for addicts we just seem to over analyze and over complicate everything.  JUST LOVE ONE ANOTHER, that is His will for us all.

Photo By Mik Canavan